Ooh good question! I’ve always thought I’d be a ravenclaw…
I was thinking that we’re told a lot in treatment that once you start challenged your ED behaviours that real emotions will bubble to the surface, that it’s a coping mechanism and you need to stop engaging in it to figure out different ways to handle your emotions, and lots of people talk about being scared of what will be left, or what will be underneath, when the eating disorder is taken away.
And I think that really what I’M scared of, and why I cling on so tightly to my disorder, is that there will be NOTHING underneath. Literally nothing. No lightbulb moment, like “OH that was what was wrong all along”, no emotions, nothing. I will have no excuses for the way I’ve acted and the way I’ve treated myself and others, and I will having absolutely nothing left without the anorexia, I will literally cease to be a person.
That probably makes no sense, but I needed to write it down.
Having some serious stomach pain issues I feel like an alien is about to burst out of there
I am disgusting.